1. There are no LDS in Eugene: Not true. There are a lot of Latter-day Saints in Eugene, just not many my age that do not already have three kids, of which I am totally fine with. The LDS that are here, are dope. This is not my beef. Please see item 2.
2. There are no LDS in Eugene: According to my standards, true. There are no Local Donut Shops in Eugene and it is frustrating. I Yahoo'd "donut shops in Eugene" online and found five. FIVE shops! Eugene is home to almost 155,000 people! It is the second largest city in Oregon! And it spans 40.6 sq. miles! (whatever that means) Yet there are only five donut shops to feed the entire Eugene population?!
It angers me.
Maybe there are more donuts shops out there that I do not know about, but the fact that I do not recognize ever driving by one or knowing where one is off the top of my head, just goes to show that there are not enough LDS in the area.
What do I have to do to get a donut around here?!
- The donuts sold on campus are way over-priced. The cake donuts are priced the same as the raised donuts and that right there is indicative of the campus cafe's lack of donut knowledge.
- I refuse to settle for below par donuts from Safeway and Albertsons. Those days are so high school. My palette is much more developed and refined now and if I am going to munch on fat, it better be good fat. A Safeway donut would be an insult.
- I do not see the ingenuity in a bakery or a local coffee shop which only offers a small variety of donuts next to its array of other inferior baked goods, the two are clearly incomparable.
If I want a donut, I want it from an LDS. Is it too much to ask that there be at least one LDS somewhere near me? Of the five truly committed LDS here in Eugene, none of them have I yet run by, driven by or even happened upon. I went searching for three the other day, all no less than a 5-mile drive, and the results were as such:
- now a Korean restaurant (admittedly, not a bad substitute)
- closed
- open with only buttermilk donuts.
I admit, sometimes life is just hard. It is not always roses petals and shell-shaped soaps, and as such, not Krispy Kremes and Winchell's. Ho hum...I just do not feel like I am expecting more than what makes sense. I would not mind a little donut shop on the corner every few miles to reassure me that everything is going to be fine. Donuts make life better.
Bottom line: If I died a horrible death but with a lion's bite of donut in my mouth, everything would be ok. I would only hope my grieving family and friends would feel the same way and know that I went in peace.
Donuts. My love. My joy.
6 comments:
You are so funny, Miriam! It's good to know I'm not the only one who loves donuts. I hope you find a place that has yummy donuts soon. There's a great place in Santa Barbara, so if you ever visit there I'll have my mom take you!
I know it's not down the street, but the next time you're in P town, check this place out... http://voodoodoughnut.com/
donuts are of the devil. i bought half a dozen last night. i have now EATEN half a dozen. i have no control over "good fat" ...
but this was hilarious (as expected) and i feel your pain ... happy LDS hunting ...
it wasn't until your post that I was reminded of and LDS next to Seagull here... yay! sorry you haven't found one there yet...
Miriam. This is your best post yet. You should be paid for this.
Now it makes a lot of sense that I once ran into you in a doughnut shop in LA. Do you remember that? It was a looong time ago.ip
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