Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Expression Bustier: Express, er, yourself?

Late night television exposes the public to odd and confusing elements of the world. Whether assumed or not, the wee hours of night spent in front of the TV can be mostly a frightening experience, as opposed to anything enlightening.

Two nights ago this ad came on television and sent a shock through my system. I had to guess that since there are informercials for products that target almost every part of the human body, it was only time before we had an exercise machine for the female pectorals.

Who needs a breast augmentation? Do it the old-fashioned way, work your breasts to the shape you want!

Then there was last night...

I realize that there are aspects of womanhood I have not yet experienced, but I have a hard time believing that use of this contraption would be the right choice for me or any woman. I could totally be wrong, but, this thing just looks wrong.

The following item can be found at:

I understand moms are very busy and life can get very hectic, but at what point does "multi-tasking" draw its line?
Is she seriously working while double-pumping?

My favorite aspect of ads of these sort are the optimistic claims the producers make for their products literally to "convince" buyers that their products are legit. Coupled with shouting and loud hand gestures, selling crap can't be too hard especially items that at face value appear to have no redeeming qualities. But, just read the few bulleted-points and they can make a believer and a buyer out of anyone!

"Soft & Comfortable". Really? Really? Are they really making that claim?!

For anyone that has used either of these products and can vouch for their claims of comfort and convenience, I would love to hear from you. Like I said, I ain't no mom and I haven't thought about my chest as much as these women have, so what do I know?

Or, for anyone looking for a sounding board for boob-centric retail products, have at it!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

I am IL with Ron

As you may know, I am a HUGE fan of "The Bachelor."

Such an infatuation is deeply rooted in the sheer entertainment value of the show. It is a hoot everytime and I can attribute a rich and healthy history of the most sincere and boisterous chuckles and cringes in memory emerging from my "Bachelor viewership. It is pure entertainment!

My enjoyment of "The Bachelor" has also grown a great infatuation for this season's "The Bachelorette." And after only two episodes, I have picked a favorite.

I love Ron. He's a barber. Originally from Greely, CO, he now currently resides in Kansas City, MO. He doesn't really stand out. He hasn't received a special rose or any sort. He hasn't made any great impression. But I like him.

He is nice and cute and nice again. Go Ron!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Joey loves KJ. Or is it the other way around?

Picture this. The perfect scenario. A little girl's dream come true.

You're on a flight to Los Angeles, CA from Boston, MA. It was only one week before that the hottest pop boy band of the lates 80's and early 90's got back together. Five out of the five band members are from Boston. You don't even realize it, but the chances of you being on a plane with one of them as you fly back to the entertainment capital of the world, are, well, slim, but totally possible.

Kristen Johnson, successful graphic designer, unashamed and self-professed cat lover, and baker extraordinaire, was one lucky girl who defied the odds. In the right place. At the right time. Flying economy just like the rest of us. The voice that for so long sang to her and pleaded, "Please Don't Go Girl" was closer than she could ever have dreamed. And don't even deny it was fate, she was in coach and so was he, it was written in the stars, because really, what celebrity flies coach?

"I saw a cute boy sitting four rows in front of me," said Johnson. "He was playing with a baby. Then I noticed he was cuter than I had originally thought. Then I noticed it was Joey McIntyre and my heart skipped a thousand beats!"

One can only imagine what 13-year-old teenage girl hopes and dreams pranced through KJ's head as she sat just a few rows behind Joey of pop group "New Kids on the Block," staring at the back of his curly-headed hair. Trying to maintain composure for a six-hour flight knowing Joey, now "Joe", was so close could not have been anything short of hanging tough.

"He would stand up and walk the aisles with his little boy to keep him calm and entertained," said Johnson. "He would smile at me as he passed and swat my hand away from his a** every time I tried to touch it. But I didn't mind, he was Joey McIntyre and I had him trapped in an enclosed space."

Her friends couldn't have been been more excited nor jealous.

Kristen Johnson. Luckiest and happiest girl on the planet.

(To see their comeback, watch them on the Today Show here:)

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Idol favorite

I have been a fair-weather American Idol fan this current time around. It has just been kind of an annoying season for me and I am actually happy it is all finally coming to an end so as to make room for "So You Think You Can Dance." Awesome!

I was surprised last night, with the final two Davids (Archuleta and Cook) singing three songs. I couldn't have been more annoyed with the boxing metaphore and the way over the top contrived competition between the two. Until I watched last night, I thought Cook was the shoe-in to win. But the judges obviously have their favorite and it's the little dweeby Murray, Utah guy with the psycho dad that will likely take the prize. I like him, but I like Cook better...

Here is my favorite performance of the night. Awesome song, hot rendition!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Be warned

It's been a while since I've blogged, but it's not to say I haven't thought about things of a blog.

When is the last time you've seen one of these beauties?! True to form, I had the priviledge of experiencing a hand-drying on this invention of ingenuity while waiting for my car at the mechanic. I can almost say it was a treat to wipe my hands clean on this blue, rough towel that thousands, possibly millions of other auto mechanic bathroom patrons have touched. Pleasant thoughts all around.

As I was drying my hands, I couldn't help but notice the usage instructions followed by a warning:

1. Pull towel down gently with both hands.
2. Wipe hands and face.

(I think I will have to write a letter to the manufacturer to add "gently" to #2, especially if people are wiping their faces with this thing.)

But the thoughts from the makers that really caught my eye was the "Warning" and the fact that such mention was necessary:

"WARNING: Do not attempt to hang from towel, or insert your head into the towel loop."

To all those who tend to have to fight these urges, REFRAIN! Otherwise:

"Failure to follow these simple instructions can be harmful or injurious."

Hand towel dispensers are for drying, not hanging from nor putting your head through. Good thing I blogged about this. People need to know about these things in case they don't read instructions and warning labels.

Monday, May 5, 2008

MoFash08 success!

This weekend, the Santa Monica Stake held the first ever MoFash08: The Modest Fashion Show.

It was a total success and a whole lot of fun! From a small committee of about ten girls, we put on a high-fashion runway show that exhibited chic, yet modest, fashionable styles. I was almost overwhelmed at how well the event went and the turnout we received. I could not have asked for anything better!

From the participation of each girl on the committee we were able to:

- Secure participation from almost 20 companies including Stila Cosmetics, Downeast Outfitters, Shade clothing, and Eliza magazine.
- recruit 19 models, half of which were professional models and some on loan to us from the Ford Modelling Agency
- budget enough money to cover advertising, including newspaper ads, the rental of a runway, the rental of backstage curtains and equipment, a live DJ and purchase and borrow the clothes we needed to accomplish our goal
- attract probably 500 people, both church members and not
- hand out swag bags that included shirts, skirts, dresses, jewelery and other accessories to 100 lucky audience members
- recruit photographers and video crew to document this event to promote future shows for years to come
- recruit hair and make-up professionals to create the look we wanted

The show was a hit. I am proud of what we accomplished, not just in the show itself, but in our cause to promote modesty, virtue and self-respect. Nicely done everyone!

I forgot my camera, but I was able to take some pictures on my camera phone. We should have some photos and promotional videos available in the next few weeks.

The rental truck brought all of the stage equipment the night before and early in the day.

Doors were advertised to open at 3:00 pm. Guests began lining up at 1:30 pm. Swag bags are apparently very alluring...

By 2:30 we had at least 200 people in line.

Backstage, coordinating the outfits continued until the very start of the show.

These panels and the background panels on the stage were shipped in from Utah and made such a difference to the look of the show!

Once the show was underway, it was non-stop fun! For those of you who may recognize the model on the right, Carly (Shorten) took to the runway for the cause!

Like I said, I couldn't have been happy with the way everything turned out. With good people, some cash, many willing to volunteer their time and talents, anything can be a success.