Faster Than Speeding Bullet

I went to a movie with my dad last night and we had some time to kill. While waiting, I thought it might be interesting to introduce my dad to air hockey. He's not much of a gamer, but I figured he could handle it.

With only minimal explanation he picked it up pretty quick. Aside from a constant reminder not to put his free hand on the table (ouchie if he got smacked with the puck!), he didn't do so bad.

It wasn't long before I was up 3-0 in which he commented, "Miliam, you are very speedy."

In the end, I schooled him 5-1. I did ease up on him to keep the game going, but, he did get one legitimate goal that wasn't a gimme. He was pretty proud and even used some fightin' words, "See? Don't underestimate me. Daddy is good."

Good game, dad. Good game.

Lost in Translation, Unfortunately

I have always said my parents give me the best material for my blog. Living at home for the past six months has definitely proven that statement to be true. They say the darndest things!

Most recently, my mom told me a great story that could only be the result of, well, my parents.

Lately, my mom has been feeling a pain in her right side that for over a week has not gone away, nor gotten any better. She has visited her doctor twice and has had several x-rays and tests to try to determine the problem causing all of the pain. While the situation isn't very funny, a story that emerged from it is...so let us proceed!

My conversation with my mom a couple of days ago:

Miriam: What did the doctor say?
Mom: It is okay. But daddy, you know, he very nice, but sometimes I do not need his help.
Miriam: What happened?
Mom: So couple days ago, after I went doctor, she called me to tell me about my x-rays. She said that maybe my stool is hard and I am constipated. So, she tell me medicine that I should take. But, I feel that daddy understand better her English, so I gave phone to daddy. So, he talking to her and he write down medication name and then he hang up. What did daddy write down? Enema.
Miriam: Oh mom. I'm so sorry.
Mom: I know. I hate it. So daddy buy enema and for one day I use it. And all flushed out. Very uncomfortable, but I think maybe I can feel better, but still, mommy hurt lots. It's not get better. So, I call doctor again and I ask her maybe I need another medicine and suddenly she very surprised when I talks about enema. She says, "What? Enema? Why are you using an enema?"
Miriam: (Hahahahahaha!)
Mom: Really, daddy very nice, but sometimes he helping me makes me very mad!
Miriam: So what did the doctor prescribe?
Mom: She tell me not enema, but MiraLAX. It is powder, put water and drink. Daddy, he write down name, but in his mind, he thinking enema. Oh, daddy, he not help me!
Miriam: Hahahahahaha!

My poor mom.