Fashion woes

My mom turns 70 years old this year on March 3. To celebrate, we are doing what the Oh's do best, throwing her a HUGE party. No, no. We can't just invite a few people over and serve cake and ice cream. No, no. We have to make it an event. Not that I'm complaining, only that when we do these events it means several things, and one thing in particular: Miriam has to buy a new dress. Grrr...

For the event, we are celebrating her amazing voice and humble singing career. She will sing about 7 songs individually and several other songs with the church choir and with musicians from the Korean Music Association. I am making a short biographical video of her life and career and we expect to have anywhere from 100-150 guests. We are serving a full dinner and will be decorating and preparing the church gym. It will be a full on production. And no one is more deserving of such celebration than my mother.

So with all of this preparation, effort and work, what is my mom worried about most? The fact that she has to practice for so many songs in a short period of time? Making sure all event preparations are taken care of? Making sure there will be enough food? Making sure everyone can find the church? Nope. Here's the conversation I had with my mom about her biggest concern:

(Reminder, no typos here. Just relaying the conversation exactly as it occurred.)

Mom: So, Miliam. Mommy turning 70 this year.
Me: Yes, I know.
Mom: So, we have BIG party.
Me: I know.
Mom: Many of mommy friends be there.
Me: I know.
Mom: So, what is mommy cares most?
Me: Your song preparation?
Mom: No. Mommy can handle.
Me: Oh. Ok.
Mom: No, what mommy cares most is Miliam look pretty.
Me: Oh. Right.
Mom: You very pretty. You tall, skinny, white, very pretty. But, your dress not pretty.
Me: Ugh.
Mom: Every time mommy give you money for nice skirt or coat or dress, you don't buy. You buy ugly other things. This time I give you money and you buy nice, pretty dress. Ok?
Me: Ok.
Mom: Really? Can you buy?
Me: Yes. I'll buy a pretty dress.
Mom: Ok good. You so tall, white and pretty girl. All I want is you wear pretty dress. Mommy help you find?
Me: No. I can do it.
Mom: Maybe Rachel come and you buy together?
Me: Mom, I can buy my dress. I'm fine.

To her credit, it's her big day and she has right to be concerned. I have a track record of being a fashion slob and usually when she gives me money to buy pretty clothes, I usually end up with a t-shirt and work out shorts. But to MY credit, I HAVE delivered for past events and I am capable of looking pretty. They are just so few and far between, she probably just doesn't remember.

To fulfill my mother's request, I shopped all day today to find a stupid dress that's pretty. Unfortunately, unless I'm shopping at REI, I hate shopping. And just in general in regard to women's clothing these days, could style be any more complicated?! There is so much going on now with scarfs and thin fabric-y stuff and sheen-y stuff that you layer all together so you end up wearing four barely-there shirts and crap. Gosh, it's annoying! I miss the GAP days when it was just a cotton shirt and pants and layering meant your brother's flannel or a sweatshirt. The fabric designs today are all freaky and confusing and the cuts are all over the place. I saw a shirt today that looked like someone in the factory bumped the machine and threw the cutter off and cut the shirt at a wrong angle and they were selling it anyway! There is something wrong with fashion. It's too hard and it gives me a headache.

But, after four hours searching in Portland for a dress, between Nordstrom Rack and Macy's I did find four and I bought all of them. I can't afford to keep them all, but in order to fulfill my mother's wishes, I'll be taking pictures of me in the dresses and sending them to my sister to determine which one I look the prettiest, the tallest, the skinniest and the whitest in. For my mother's sake and the sake of her 70 years on this earth, let's hope that I don't disappoint.